"Ah... M-mostly hypothetical. I sorta... We woke up a little closer than usual. Not entirely on our sides of the bed. It's happened a couple of times."
[He's woken up once or twice feeling oddly warm. And then had a task with untangling himself from Mitsuru before she could wake up and notice. And then there were the times where he wasn't sure if he was awake... Or just having oddly vivid dreams of her curled up against him.
All those instances are weighing down on him, and maybe that's what causes him to babble.]
"I was nervous about that. We're supposed to be watching each other's backs, but I... Guess I just don't want to do anything you don't like."
[Though she certainly didn't seem to mind it while she was asleep... But awake is an entirely different matter. Content as he was to comb out her hair in his dreams, he's not about to try that in reality.]
"Or get into your personal space; I know how much you value that! A-and again, if you think it's too much trouble, then... I could leave or something-"
[In theory he could easily go back to his own room.
But the thing is, he doesn't really want to. Or at least something is holding Akihiko back, just like it's keeping him fixed to the sheets.]
[ She cuts herself off. Apparently thinking better of what she was about to say. She can't just go with the first thing out of her mouth, with what she has an urge to say- no, she needs to be measured about this, think it over first.
So he knows.
In fact he knows even more than Mitsuru herself does it seems. During a time in her life when she had been experiencing more nightmares that she can ever remember having, she can't exactly escape the truth that she had been sleeping far more soundly ever since he had started spending the nights with her in her room.
She isn't sure why that realisation causes her heart beat to quicken in her chest or why her face suddenly feels... warm. They were just watching each other's backs in light of the attack, safety in numbers and all that. This was only ever supposed to be a temporary thing; sharing a room, sharing a bed...
So why then does the thought of asking him to go back to his room, or leaving her, make her feel slightly hollow inside?
Still, she knows what she has to do here. It's no longer a question of want. ]
I think... perhaps now that a threat doesn't seem so imminent it might be wise that we return to our respective rooms in the evenings.
We should remain vigilant but it seems unlikely that a retaliation from thugs like that would happen at such a later date.
[ Yes, that's right. Focus on the attack, the practicalities... she doesn't have to touch all of the other stuff. Them being in each other's personal space, the warmth, the feelings of safety and contentment...
No. Mitsuru will be ruthlessly practical as always. What other choice does she have? ]
...Yeah. You're right. Looks like we're out of the worst of it. Probably better if we go back to separate rooms now."
[This is supposed to be a good thing, right? This way they don't have to worry about invading the other's space. No waking up with someone curled and clinging against the other. Besides, this means he can go back to decorating his own room. Making it his. Akihiko tries to tell himself all of these things... But weirdly there's still something that makes his heart lurch.
Even though that's stupid; this is solving their problems.]
"Well, looks like the day is starting up. I might as well get up too."
[Sooner he gets out of this bed, the better off they'll both be. That's what Akihiko keeps mentally repeating, as he forces himself up.]
"I-I'll see you later tonight, then. Out in the living room."
[Not in here.
And he'll keep on telling himself that's for the best, if that's what Mitsuru really wants.]
[ If this is the right and logical thing to do, which it absolutely is, then why does she feel so incredibly... empty at the prospect? As if she might have ruined something that was actually making her feel content? Maybe even happy?
When was the last time she had felt that in such an unabated way? Or slept so well? Without waking in the morning to feel the residual effects of her nightmares still gnawing away at her psyche?
Still, what other choice does she have in this? She can hardly expect Akihiko to spend every night in her room from now until forever. What would her justification even be for that? That it felt... good?
Mitsuru swallows, hopefully in such a way that he doesn't notice before composing her thoughts and gazing at him in a composed, measured way despite her internal turmoil. ]
Right, yes. We should both get ready for the day.
I shall see you later then - in the living room, as you say.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He's woken up once or twice feeling oddly warm. And then had a task with untangling himself from Mitsuru before she could wake up and notice. And then there were the times where he wasn't sure if he was awake... Or just having oddly vivid dreams of her curled up against him.
All those instances are weighing down on him, and maybe that's what causes him to babble.]
"I was nervous about that. We're supposed to be watching each other's backs, but I... Guess I just don't want to do anything you don't like."
[Though she certainly didn't seem to mind it while she was asleep... But awake is an entirely different matter. Content as he was to comb out her hair in his dreams, he's not about to try that in reality.]
"Or get into your personal space; I know how much you value that! A-and again, if you think it's too much trouble, then... I could leave or something-"
[In theory he could easily go back to his own room.
But the thing is, he doesn't really want to. Or at least something is holding Akihiko back, just like it's keeping him fixed to the sheets.]
no subject
[ She cuts herself off. Apparently thinking better of what she was about to say. She can't just go with the first thing out of her mouth, with what she has an urge to say- no, she needs to be measured about this, think it over first.
So he knows.
In fact he knows even more than Mitsuru herself does it seems. During a time in her life when she had been experiencing more nightmares that she can ever remember having, she can't exactly escape the truth that she had been sleeping far more soundly ever since he had started spending the nights with her in her room.
She isn't sure why that realisation causes her heart beat to quicken in her chest or why her face suddenly feels... warm. They were just watching each other's backs in light of the attack, safety in numbers and all that. This was only ever supposed to be a temporary thing; sharing a room, sharing a bed...
So why then does the thought of asking him to go back to his room, or leaving her, make her feel slightly hollow inside?
Still, she knows what she has to do here. It's no longer a question of want. ]
I think... perhaps now that a threat doesn't seem so imminent it might be wise that we return to our respective rooms in the evenings.
We should remain vigilant but it seems unlikely that a retaliation from thugs like that would happen at such a later date.
[ Yes, that's right. Focus on the attack, the practicalities... she doesn't have to touch all of the other stuff. Them being in each other's personal space, the warmth, the feelings of safety and contentment...
No. Mitsuru will be ruthlessly practical as always. What other choice does she have? ]
no subject
...Yeah. You're right. Looks like we're out of the worst of it. Probably better if we go back to separate rooms now."
[This is supposed to be a good thing, right? This way they don't have to worry about invading the other's space. No waking up with someone curled and clinging against the other. Besides, this means he can go back to decorating his own room. Making it his. Akihiko tries to tell himself all of these things... But weirdly there's still something that makes his heart lurch.
Even though that's stupid; this is solving their problems.]
"Well, looks like the day is starting up. I might as well get up too."
[Sooner he gets out of this bed, the better off they'll both be. That's what Akihiko keeps mentally repeating, as he forces himself up.]
"I-I'll see you later tonight, then. Out in the living room."
[Not in here.
And he'll keep on telling himself that's for the best, if that's what Mitsuru really wants.]
no subject
When was the last time she had felt that in such an unabated way? Or slept so well? Without waking in the morning to feel the residual effects of her nightmares still gnawing away at her psyche?
Still, what other choice does she have in this? She can hardly expect Akihiko to spend every night in her room from now until forever. What would her justification even be for that? That it felt... good?
Mitsuru swallows, hopefully in such a way that he doesn't notice before composing her thoughts and gazing at him in a composed, measured way despite her internal turmoil. ]
Right, yes. We should both get ready for the day.
I shall see you later then - in the living room, as you say.