[ He’s like a dog with a bone as usual, that’s to be expected but…
Why is he talking to her like that? In that gentle tone. It’s not as though they’re always barking orders at each other or anything like that but this is… different.
Mitsuru suddenly has the overwhelming urge to escape from this conversation by any means necessary. Instead, she just tries to remain calm, composed, impassive in her response. ]
I don’t remember exactly. As I understand it, people don’t often recall the entirety of their dreams.
Perhaps you’d been gravely injured and I was just concerned. Or something similar to that.
[ Yes. That’s it. She has absolutely no memory of the two of them, his hand gently combing through her hair, as they gaze at one another and-
Absolutely not. ]
I... I see no reason to deviate from how I've always spoken to you.
[ This is weird. The odd, hushed atmosphere... even beyond the fact that the pair of them had only just woken up. There's something else and right now, Mitsuru doesn't care to address it.
[Suddenly he's reminded of why they're in this position in the first place; because he went and got himself shot, and... And he's still not sure why Mitsuru was afraid for him. But he's feeling an echo of that now.
He wants to reach back out to her. To reassure her that he's fine. Instead, his fingers dig into the bed sheets, clutching at them. And he can't help but think it's a poor substitute for holding onto her, or threading his fingers through her hair-
And he also spares a moment to wonder what the hell is wrong with him. Why is he even thinking of her like that? Or dwelling on how it felt to wake up with her curled against him?
It's clear she doesn't want to dwell on it. And equally clear he should be following her lead.]
"Right. No reason to change things up, just because of a weird night.
Or... A weird couple of nights; pretty sure this counted as strange."
There is no need to apologise. It was just a dream.
Just because you've worried me before doesn't make you responsible in this case.
[ There is also the fact that she's not being at all truthful about what it is she was actually dreaming. About him.
As he clutches the bedsheets, Mitsuru sits up, her back against the pillows as she slowly draws her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Like him, she finds them a poor substitute... but she won't let herself think about that. ]
Most of our time here so far has been odd, sometimes unnerving. [ Like him getting injured. ] It's only natural that we have the odd unsettled night.
I don't think we should read into dreams too much.
[ She's saying that to reassure herself as much as anything else. Although he doesn't need to know that. ]
[Seems he's trying to reassure himself in turn. Akihiko blinks up towards the windows as the sky brightens outside. At least he doesn't have to worry about trying to go back to sleep.
Though now he finds himself worried about something else. Namely, what he's supposed to do if this happens again.]
"Hey... Mitsuru? About having a couple of unsettled nights, I was worried about something. I-if you woke up, and you were curled up next to me and..."
[He's really hoping that she can't see the pink settling into face. It's suddenly very hard to talk, so he forces the next words out in a rush.]
"Andifwewerehugging then you wouldn't be... Angry about it, right? No Executions or anything? A-and sorry if that's a weird question. If it's too weird to ask I can gobacktomyroomandit'sfine."
[He's already shifting uneasily on the mattress, ready to get up and make an undignified retreat back to his own room before he gets frozen...
...Though it's weird, that he's hesitating on doing just that. Instead he holds his breath, waiting for Mitsuru's answer.]
[ She almost visibly starts at his line of questioning. Almost being the operative word. She can't let him see how rattled it has her. ]
...
What you're asking is purely hypothetical of course?
[ The truth is... well, perhaps she's a little more aware of what she's been doing than he realises. There might have been another morning, a couple of days prior, where Mitsuru had woken to find herself very much not on her side of the bed.
She had moved, eventually. Somehow, without waking Akihiko. Or at least she thought she had. Perhaps he'd known all along... or perhaps she had done it again. ]
"Ah... M-mostly hypothetical. I sorta... We woke up a little closer than usual. Not entirely on our sides of the bed. It's happened a couple of times."
[He's woken up once or twice feeling oddly warm. And then had a task with untangling himself from Mitsuru before she could wake up and notice. And then there were the times where he wasn't sure if he was awake... Or just having oddly vivid dreams of her curled up against him.
All those instances are weighing down on him, and maybe that's what causes him to babble.]
"I was nervous about that. We're supposed to be watching each other's backs, but I... Guess I just don't want to do anything you don't like."
[Though she certainly didn't seem to mind it while she was asleep... But awake is an entirely different matter. Content as he was to comb out her hair in his dreams, he's not about to try that in reality.]
"Or get into your personal space; I know how much you value that! A-and again, if you think it's too much trouble, then... I could leave or something-"
[In theory he could easily go back to his own room.
But the thing is, he doesn't really want to. Or at least something is holding Akihiko back, just like it's keeping him fixed to the sheets.]
[ She cuts herself off. Apparently thinking better of what she was about to say. She can't just go with the first thing out of her mouth, with what she has an urge to say- no, she needs to be measured about this, think it over first.
So he knows.
In fact he knows even more than Mitsuru herself does it seems. During a time in her life when she had been experiencing more nightmares that she can ever remember having, she can't exactly escape the truth that she had been sleeping far more soundly ever since he had started spending the nights with her in her room.
She isn't sure why that realisation causes her heart beat to quicken in her chest or why her face suddenly feels... warm. They were just watching each other's backs in light of the attack, safety in numbers and all that. This was only ever supposed to be a temporary thing; sharing a room, sharing a bed...
So why then does the thought of asking him to go back to his room, or leaving her, make her feel slightly hollow inside?
Still, she knows what she has to do here. It's no longer a question of want. ]
I think... perhaps now that a threat doesn't seem so imminent it might be wise that we return to our respective rooms in the evenings.
We should remain vigilant but it seems unlikely that a retaliation from thugs like that would happen at such a later date.
[ Yes, that's right. Focus on the attack, the practicalities... she doesn't have to touch all of the other stuff. Them being in each other's personal space, the warmth, the feelings of safety and contentment...
No. Mitsuru will be ruthlessly practical as always. What other choice does she have? ]
...Yeah. You're right. Looks like we're out of the worst of it. Probably better if we go back to separate rooms now."
[This is supposed to be a good thing, right? This way they don't have to worry about invading the other's space. No waking up with someone curled and clinging against the other. Besides, this means he can go back to decorating his own room. Making it his. Akihiko tries to tell himself all of these things... But weirdly there's still something that makes his heart lurch.
Even though that's stupid; this is solving their problems.]
"Well, looks like the day is starting up. I might as well get up too."
[Sooner he gets out of this bed, the better off they'll both be. That's what Akihiko keeps mentally repeating, as he forces himself up.]
"I-I'll see you later tonight, then. Out in the living room."
[Not in here.
And he'll keep on telling himself that's for the best, if that's what Mitsuru really wants.]
[ If this is the right and logical thing to do, which it absolutely is, then why does she feel so incredibly... empty at the prospect? As if she might have ruined something that was actually making her feel content? Maybe even happy?
When was the last time she had felt that in such an unabated way? Or slept so well? Without waking in the morning to feel the residual effects of her nightmares still gnawing away at her psyche?
Still, what other choice does she have in this? She can hardly expect Akihiko to spend every night in her room from now until forever. What would her justification even be for that? That it felt... good?
Mitsuru swallows, hopefully in such a way that he doesn't notice before composing her thoughts and gazing at him in a composed, measured way despite her internal turmoil. ]
Right, yes. We should both get ready for the day.
I shall see you later then - in the living room, as you say.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
"...Uh huh. You were reprimanding me in the gentlest voice I've ever heard. Don't suppose you're going to start doing that when you're awake?"
[Wry as his expression is, his voice is oddly hushed and gentle. And seems to be determined to match what he's just heard.]
no subject
Why is he talking to her like that? In that gentle tone. It’s not as though they’re always barking orders at each other or anything like that but this is… different.
Mitsuru suddenly has the overwhelming urge to escape from this conversation by any means necessary. Instead, she just tries to remain calm, composed, impassive in her response. ]
I don’t remember exactly. As I understand it, people don’t often recall the entirety of their dreams.
Perhaps you’d been gravely injured and I was just concerned. Or something similar to that.
[ Yes. That’s it. She has absolutely no memory of the two of them, his hand gently combing through her hair, as they gaze at one another and-
Absolutely not. ]
I... I see no reason to deviate from how I've always spoken to you.
[ This is weird. The odd, hushed atmosphere... even beyond the fact that the pair of them had only just woken up. There's something else and right now, Mitsuru doesn't care to address it.
Or perhaps she's afraid to. ]
no subject
[Suddenly he's reminded of why they're in this position in the first place; because he went and got himself shot, and... And he's still not sure why Mitsuru was afraid for him. But he's feeling an echo of that now.
He wants to reach back out to her. To reassure her that he's fine. Instead, his fingers dig into the bed sheets, clutching at them. And he can't help but think it's a poor substitute for holding onto her, or threading his fingers through her hair-
And he also spares a moment to wonder what the hell is wrong with him. Why is he even thinking of her like that? Or dwelling on how it felt to wake up with her curled against him?
It's clear she doesn't want to dwell on it. And equally clear he should be following her lead.]
"Right. No reason to change things up, just because of a weird night.
Or... A weird couple of nights; pretty sure this counted as strange."
no subject
Just because you've worried me before doesn't make you responsible in this case.
[ There is also the fact that she's not being at all truthful about what it is she was actually dreaming. About him.
As he clutches the bedsheets, Mitsuru sits up, her back against the pillows as she slowly draws her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Like him, she finds them a poor substitute... but she won't let herself think about that. ]
Most of our time here so far has been odd, sometimes unnerving. [ Like him getting injured. ] It's only natural that we have the odd unsettled night.
I don't think we should read into dreams too much.
[ She's saying that to reassure herself as much as anything else. Although he doesn't need to know that. ]
no subject
[Seems he's trying to reassure himself in turn. Akihiko blinks up towards the windows as the sky brightens outside. At least he doesn't have to worry about trying to go back to sleep.
Though now he finds himself worried about something else. Namely, what he's supposed to do if this happens again.]
"Hey... Mitsuru? About having a couple of unsettled nights, I was worried about something. I-if you woke up, and you were curled up next to me and..."
[He's really hoping that she can't see the pink settling into face. It's suddenly very hard to talk, so he forces the next words out in a rush.]
"Andifwewerehugging then you wouldn't be... Angry about it, right? No Executions or anything? A-and sorry if that's a weird question. If it's too weird to ask I can gobacktomyroomandit'sfine."
[He's already shifting uneasily on the mattress, ready to get up and make an undignified retreat back to his own room before he gets frozen...
...Though it's weird, that he's hesitating on doing just that. Instead he holds his breath, waiting for Mitsuru's answer.]
no subject
...
What you're asking is purely hypothetical of course?
[ The truth is... well, perhaps she's a little more aware of what she's been doing than he realises. There might have been another morning, a couple of days prior, where Mitsuru had woken to find herself very much not on her side of the bed.
She had moved, eventually. Somehow, without waking Akihiko. Or at least she thought she had. Perhaps he'd known all along... or perhaps she had done it again. ]
no subject
[He's woken up once or twice feeling oddly warm. And then had a task with untangling himself from Mitsuru before she could wake up and notice. And then there were the times where he wasn't sure if he was awake... Or just having oddly vivid dreams of her curled up against him.
All those instances are weighing down on him, and maybe that's what causes him to babble.]
"I was nervous about that. We're supposed to be watching each other's backs, but I... Guess I just don't want to do anything you don't like."
[Though she certainly didn't seem to mind it while she was asleep... But awake is an entirely different matter. Content as he was to comb out her hair in his dreams, he's not about to try that in reality.]
"Or get into your personal space; I know how much you value that! A-and again, if you think it's too much trouble, then... I could leave or something-"
[In theory he could easily go back to his own room.
But the thing is, he doesn't really want to. Or at least something is holding Akihiko back, just like it's keeping him fixed to the sheets.]
no subject
[ She cuts herself off. Apparently thinking better of what she was about to say. She can't just go with the first thing out of her mouth, with what she has an urge to say- no, she needs to be measured about this, think it over first.
So he knows.
In fact he knows even more than Mitsuru herself does it seems. During a time in her life when she had been experiencing more nightmares that she can ever remember having, she can't exactly escape the truth that she had been sleeping far more soundly ever since he had started spending the nights with her in her room.
She isn't sure why that realisation causes her heart beat to quicken in her chest or why her face suddenly feels... warm. They were just watching each other's backs in light of the attack, safety in numbers and all that. This was only ever supposed to be a temporary thing; sharing a room, sharing a bed...
So why then does the thought of asking him to go back to his room, or leaving her, make her feel slightly hollow inside?
Still, she knows what she has to do here. It's no longer a question of want. ]
I think... perhaps now that a threat doesn't seem so imminent it might be wise that we return to our respective rooms in the evenings.
We should remain vigilant but it seems unlikely that a retaliation from thugs like that would happen at such a later date.
[ Yes, that's right. Focus on the attack, the practicalities... she doesn't have to touch all of the other stuff. Them being in each other's personal space, the warmth, the feelings of safety and contentment...
No. Mitsuru will be ruthlessly practical as always. What other choice does she have? ]
no subject
...Yeah. You're right. Looks like we're out of the worst of it. Probably better if we go back to separate rooms now."
[This is supposed to be a good thing, right? This way they don't have to worry about invading the other's space. No waking up with someone curled and clinging against the other. Besides, this means he can go back to decorating his own room. Making it his. Akihiko tries to tell himself all of these things... But weirdly there's still something that makes his heart lurch.
Even though that's stupid; this is solving their problems.]
"Well, looks like the day is starting up. I might as well get up too."
[Sooner he gets out of this bed, the better off they'll both be. That's what Akihiko keeps mentally repeating, as he forces himself up.]
"I-I'll see you later tonight, then. Out in the living room."
[Not in here.
And he'll keep on telling himself that's for the best, if that's what Mitsuru really wants.]
no subject
When was the last time she had felt that in such an unabated way? Or slept so well? Without waking in the morning to feel the residual effects of her nightmares still gnawing away at her psyche?
Still, what other choice does she have in this? She can hardly expect Akihiko to spend every night in her room from now until forever. What would her justification even be for that? That it felt... good?
Mitsuru swallows, hopefully in such a way that he doesn't notice before composing her thoughts and gazing at him in a composed, measured way despite her internal turmoil. ]
Right, yes. We should both get ready for the day.
I shall see you later then - in the living room, as you say.